I’ve been misunderstood when I tried to be everything I could.
My name, dragged through the mud and now there’s too much bad blood.
I have ex’s who claim I’m cold and cruel, shallow and toxic but really my touch was just too hypnotic.
I can’t sit here and play the angel when I know I have faults too, but I won’t forget all the things I was put through.
It’s hard for me to speak all the conversations I have in my head I mean, the words never reach my lips and I guess that’s why I lay alone in bed.
It seems I’ll never find the one for me because every attempt leaves me angry and filled with dread.
I always try my hardest but that’s never enough, I try being truthful and my feelings always end up too strong, too weak, too much.
I’m no victim but my history makes it feel like love will always be tough.
Don’t pretend I didn’t warn you taking this path would be rough.
The questions that lingers, what’s wrong with me and why do they always give up?
But that’s self loathing and I won’t spiral into those depths, I simply am worth too much.
Mainstream platforms say to leave behind the complicated people who don’t know how to love, but what about the damaged ones who need support because they were disposed of?
It’s funny how you can be honest from the start and still end up the bad guy and breaking someone’s heart.
People are fickle and maybe that’s why I’m cold, to stop myself from caring little by little.
We all have defense mechanisms and mine is masking my feelings with a poker face, but all that leaves me with is no one to embrace.
Maybe it’s better this way.
For everyone to stay away.
I just seem to turn everything charred and grey and my relationships always end up in an ashtray.
Fairytales and romance are child’s play.
Every time I think I found my rock one of us always strays.
And I never truly think anyone loves me,
Three stars for three times you’ve left me blue, tell me what did I really do?
No one is loyal and the people you rant to just want a chance to screw.
I know my love was real, but do you? No one has a clue.
How could it be bad when I gave support and you grew?
But apparently I’m the monster through and through.
Doesn’t take even twenty four hours for them to start searching for someone new.
I’m one in a million though so I’m gonna take my time, take it slow.
You can date a dozen hoe’s but none will ever capture my glow.
So I’m done defending my name, done taking all the blame and done feeling shamed.
Cupid almost hit my heart but he needs better aim.
My passion is a beautiful flame, I’m a wildfire no one can ever tame.
So it burns everything in its path, leaving behind a bloodbath.
And I stand alone, unable to apologize for the aftermath because I’m overwhelmed with wrath.
Wrath that no one ever understands me, but I won’t get on my knees and plea.
I flee from the burns I leave behind in the third degree.
So I’m sorry but I never said your safety was a guarantee.