The world went dark on impact.
I opened my eyes and everything had changed.
Smoke filled my lungs from my vehicle and I couldn’t tell you where I was.
My hearing was echoed, it all seemed so far away.
Although what happened was void, I felt the dread creeping up on me as I was pulled from my seat.
I sat down on the pavement staring at the wreck in disbelief as I heard panicked voices calling 911.
I didn’t move, shell shocked and hazy it wasn’t long till the sound of sirens approached and medics swarmed the scene.
There was sharp pain in my temple, my back, something was wrong with my finger.
I couldn’t answer questions, I was confused as they shone lights in my eyes and checked my vitals.
There was another woman crying, sobbing actually, about the cruelty of her life and how bad things seemed to always happen to her.
I wanted to laugh but my face didn’t move. It felt ironic.
Police assessed the scene and empty liquor bottles clanked around her back seat.
The adrenaline and shock let me feel calm, but as I tried to think of who to call and what to do I drew a blank.
Chunks of memories had dissipated and I could no longer tell you what I’d been worried about that day, or any day before that.
I began to panic as I had to look up my address, my social, and I couldn’t place any faces in my phone.
It’s funny how quickly you can lose so much, and yet feel so at peace.
My ghosts are gone and I can move forward now, a clean slate.
Although they may return I can handle them now, I’m resilient.
I tried my depression on and I’ve grown out of it, like an old pair of jeans, it’s too tight and restricting.
Perhaps it’s a temporary fix, but I feel hopeful. I’m still on track and I’m still doing better than I’ve ever been.
I guess the lesson I’ve learned is there is blessings even in tragedy, and I will heal the way I always do, coming out stronger on the other end.
So I said goodbye to an old friend that had been through everything with me, and now I’m saying hello to the start of something new.