I know I hurt you and I want you to know I got very bit of my own medicine.

My wings were clipped and I tasted my own blood on the hands of a false love.

I was humiliated and stripped of everything that made me, me.

I lost everything I loved, I’ve been through hell and back.

I left an angel for a demon, tricked by a master of disguise.

Perhaps it’s too little, too late but I needed you to know, I know.

I know I was evil and cruel, I know I was selfish.

Something so beautiful and pure became twisted and ugly because I let it be tainted and stolen.

It was yours, we both know it. It was always yours.

I may never see you again, never touch your skin, never hold your gaze but you will always be my sun, my warmth, my love.

You hurt me too but I deserved it, for my tunnel vision and naive heart didn’t see all you’d done for me, all you would do for me.

Too many times in my life I wasn’t loyal to the ones who deserved it, too many nights I’ve cried and pleaded for forgiveness.

I wish I could take back my sins but all I can do is repent, all I can do now is be the person you believed me to be.

I want you to know I’m getting better, I’m trying to be better, I’ve begun to find the girl you fell in love with, the girl I tried so hard to kill and leave behind.

It’s painful and ugly to face the things I’ve done, the ones I’ve hurt.

I can’t blame my upbringing, I can’t blame you. The blame for my actions is my own and it’s a heavy burden to bare.

You’ll always be in my heart, and the scars on our bodies will always be a reminder of the history I will never forget.

I’m not angry anymore, I’ve let go of the resentment, the hurt, the loss, the wounds that still sting my soul.

Maybe this won’t find you but if it does I hope you know these words were written by the girl you knew, not the one I became.

Please remember me that way.

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