The cold metal in my mouth felt uncomfortable, and scarier than I’d imagined. My heart beat faster as my finger teased the trigger. This is what I needed to do, I couldn’t back out now. There was no hope for me anymore, my life was a never ending abyss of tragedy and sadness. My body aches my soul yearns to be released from this suffering. I felt a cold sweat break out on my temples as I feared I would slip, that I would live and be even more fucked up than I am. I wouldn’t miss. I couldn’t miss. It was an easy shot through the back of my skull, all I had to do was just fucking do it. I felt a tear escape my left eye and winced. What was I crying for? For me? For my death? How pathetic. I laid a firm finger down and closed my eyes. This is it.
My eyes shot up as the door bursted open and those beautiful blue eyes looked at me in horror. She ran to my side and pulled the weapon from my mouth.
“Stop this. Stop this right now. You can’t leave me like this baby. You need to live. For me. Please.” Her lips were big and red and her eyes rimmed red with tears that flushed her cheeks. God, she was beautiful. Too beautiful for me. All I was doing was holding her back from a life full of love and happiness, I could do that to her.
“I’m sorry.” I reinstalled the gun into my mouth and pulled.
She snatched the gun from my mouth.
It happened so fast.
I’d already begun pulling the trigger, it was too late.
One moment the gun was in my mouth and the next it was against her delicate neck.
She pulled it away from me and the bullet tore through the bottom of her chin with a gut wrenching pop. Her eyes went blank and her body went limp in my arms. I cried. I cried louder and more violently than ever before, clutching her lifeless form.
“Please god no.”
I reached for the gun again, this time with certainty, I placed it under my own chin and pulled. The gun snapped but nothing happened, I tried again, nothing.
It was empty.
My fingers streaked bright red over the telephone on the nightstand.
911, what’s your emergency?
She’s dead. I shot her.
The sounds of sirens approached, my vision was swallowed by reds and blues until there was only black.
We left a stain in room 203.