The Pain of Holding On

I was living in a delusion

 I was living in your warm and loving embrace from the past 

I was living half a life

I truly believed your caramel words and waited for my dearest to return 

I look for your eyes like an addict looks for their next high

The pain when I saw the other became an obsession 

I was living a half life

Every song about you 

Every quote 

Every piece of art I tried to create had pieces of you 

I was living a morbid fantasy that one day you were going to be back and love me like you did 

The shattering of my sweet nightmare was a sharp push from reality, giving me a realization

A realization that you will never look at me with that same fire you did before

You will never smile because I smile anymore 

My skin will never melt into yours 

You will never breath on my neck raising goosebumps down my thighs 

You will never admire me like you once did 

I will never again find that comfort you once gave me with your presence 

I lived a half life waiting for a heart to return that is already in the possession of another 

It is time to let go of the tight grip I have kept so long on nothing but air 

Every day that the time in which we shared a secret bubble of intimacy fades into the wastelands of your mind I feel myself slipping 

It is time to forget 

It is time to let go 

It is time to live whole again. 

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